Obama Orders euro Conversion for October

Starting October 2015, good bye US currency, hello euro. (image: Wizzard - Public Domain - Wikimedia Commons) Starting October, say hello to the euro. WASHINGTON, DC – Demonstrating another bold example of presidential authority, sources report Barack Obama has ordered the Federal Reserve to adopt the euro beginning October 15, 2015. The US will share the single monetary system used by 18 European Union member states, including Greece, France, Germany, and Slovakia. Sources reveal the surprise announcement resulted from overseas deals between foreign finance ministers and the Federal Reserve System. “This step forward,” announced Obama, “will make it easier for Americans and Wall Street to compare prices, help stabilize the economy, and ensure our position as number one leader on the world’s economic stage.” The changeover was revealed during the worldwide economic summit held in Beijing, where earlier, alongside Chinese premier Li Keqiang, Obama had secretly worked out a climate accord agreement. Criticism has been swift and severe. “Obama’s given up entirely on our US economy after single-handedly destroying it,” said Rep. Kevin Brady (R-TX 8th District), Chairman of the Congressional Joint International Economic Commerce Committee. “It’s like breaking all the founding father’s national piggybanks and then saying ‘I don’t want to play anymore because these banks are all broken,'” said 64-year-old former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. “Obama needs to realize that the economy isn’t his personal rumpus room to press ’tilt’ on the financial pinball machine of the economy whenever that desire erratically strikes him. He should vastly consider staying over there in China while he’s over there in China. Please sir, may I have another?” she added. To help with the conversion to the euro, a new whitehouse.gov website will launch, complete with downloadable conversion calculators and apps. Printable vouchers will be provided for discounts toward government manufactured cash registers. A children’s mascot, featuring ‘Yuri the Happy Euro‘ will help guide youngsters through the new system. For the first 3 months of the conversion, euro notes and coins will circulate jointly with US currency, so as not to disrupt the holiday season. “We don’t want to add any extra stress,” said the President. “My economic team predicts everything will go smoothly.” Will vendors take advantage of the new system to gouge consumers? What about ATMs? Will small businesses who can’t afford to make the changeover right away close up shop and further weaken an increasingly unstable Obama economy? “I think it’s a good idea, said Washington D.C. shop owner Vonda Miller. “I spend too much time counting pennies all day long making change. They tell me my taxes will be easier to do, so I’m for whatever the President wants.” Updates will keep readers informed about the conversion, occurring during the last days of Obama’s increasingly emboldened administration. We are having a big sale come over and see